More hyped than Ja Rule at the Fyre Festival, more attention grabbing than Lady Gaga at Cochella, more innovative than Lorde at Life is Beautiful in Vegas; Profits Over People has begun their world tour, taking the nation by storm.


Their two monster hits, “I fought the law” and “The Environment is my Bitch” have become almost as popular as their T-shirts and other merch with the giant word PROFITS over the word PEOPLE. Just like George Michael’s “CHOOSE LIFE” T-shirts from 1984 only exactly the opposite.

Scott Pruitt on bass, described by many Washington insiders as, “Like Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers only boiled in oil with no musical talent whatsoever.” Making history by leading the searing audience chants, “Climate change nooooooo, Coal yesssss.” And “Benzene, shmenzine.” Pruitt keeps the stage smokin’ hot!

Betsy Devoss on lead guitar singing such favorites as, “Me and God will learn yo kids” and “Experience is for non-billionaires” She brings a fresh voice to Profits over People as this her first time in a band and her first time playing guitar.


Jeff Sessions putting his personal spin on the Sonny Curtis favorite, “I fought the law” tweaking the lyrics as only he can into, “I fought the law and I won.” Plus he and the Donald share writing credit on the classic American hit, “What’s so funny bout war, hate, and xenophobia?”


Plus Rex “Tillin it” Tillerson providing the beat for the whole motley crew. Passionate, dramatic, and with his Exxon connections in 50 foreign countries, well, “The Tiller is a killer.” As DT likes to say. He and Scott Pruitt seem to play with a connection that goes way beyond music.


And then there is the revolving group of backup singers: Flynn, Comey, Conway, Bannon, Spicer, Kushner, and the DT family singers (like the Von Trapps if you take out cuteness and insert fear and loathing). No telling who will show up at each venue ready to provide whatever background noise is required. Some say they take away from the music and the message but true fans know they just add to the harmony.


Then there is the Donald, lead singer, mastermind, strutting around the stage like a bloated Mick Jagger. Starting each show with a single spotlight and the Sinatra classic, “My Way”. People wonder how he keeps going on his diet of Big Macs, KFC, and finasteride but he does, belting it out day after day, conquering America and now taking over the world.


Saudi Arabia, Israel, Brussels, Belgium, and Italy. Profits over People world tour 2017. Catch them now before they all go away forever.